This last weekend has been mixed - I got David to the doctor Friday so he could get his medicine refilled - he only stayed home fifteen minutes - seemed tense and on edge the whole time - the next day I thought he had watched the Ohio/Michigan game with his uncle - but when I finally talked to him Sunday evening I found out he had stayed in his apartment instead alone - and he was slipping - sounded depressed - didn't seem to care about anything - said he wasn't coming home for thanksgiving because he didn't like turkey - I had my brother go over to check on him and try to talk him into walking over to his place - David would not leave his apartment. Trying not to panic I waited awhile then called back - he told me he was so good that he wasn't even going to mention either one of the movies he was supposed to be analyzing in the paper he was working on - I asked "but isn't that what the paper is about?" he just laughed. Now I started praying - he seemed so far away - I called my brother again - he said he would call him back. I forced myself to wait two hours before calling again - telling myself that there are some things you just can't control. David answered and immediately began to talk cheerily about an upcoming movie and what he wanted for Christmas. Though relieved I knew this mood could be a symptom of mania - I reminded him to take his medicine, told him I loved him, and bid him good night - then like many other nights I lay in bed praying that the good night would not turn into goodbye.
This is an excellent article by a woman suffering from schizoaffective disorder - gives a perspective from the inside.
A mind taut with pain - Health - Times Online