Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Dailies #8

Things have been busy and chaotic lately as I try to juggle getting David in an apartment (that should be accomplished before the end of the week), preparing for a new school year of teaching and maintaining the rest of the household. so far things have been going well; David was anxious to get his textbooks early and has already started reading them - he does seem a bit down this last couple of days - probably the stress of dealing with this upcoming change - I hope we can make the transition without precipitating a crisis. Myself I worry, worry, worry - I worry that his anxiety will overcome him the first couple of days - I worry that he will become lonely and depressed away from home - I worry that he will fail to take his medication. My list is never ending - but I know that for David to have a life of his own I have to stand back and walk away - of course I will still no doubt call him constantly and drive up to check on him often - but in the end I am here and he will be there and if something happens he will be alone - I have never felt more afraid in this tossing sea - I see my son drifting off with the current - he could be headed towards of tropical paradise or a brewing hurricane - either way I know I must let him go.

Another note - the following report of schizophrenia and teens is sobering and informative - something for parents to keep in mind when they struggle to understand why their kids do what they do.


1 comment:

Melody said...

I think you are such a brave mother. It sounds sort of like sending your child off to school for the first day, except this time you know he'll not be under the supervision of teachers and such. I can't imagine how scary it must be for you.

I hope it all works out for him too :)